We have a problem in our sink. It has no garbage disposal. I lobbied for this when we built the house but someone else who lives here (name withheld) said "ix na" on the garbage disposal, so we have a strainer that catches the last 10 percent of the cereal. Essentially after two people dump the remnants of their cereal into the sink it becomes clogged and water no longer goes through it. I think I feel that way right now... sort of clogged with worldliness. There's too much of the world in me and not enough holiness. My "ought to" and "want to" don't match. I want to do this, but end up doing that. So, what are my options ? Hypocrites are unattractive and so I don't want to pretend, but at the same time do I really want to be obedient ? In some ways, "yes", because the consequences of disobedience are really unpleasant. I am not happy living in the land of good intentions. I am sure of who I don't want to be... I don't want to be this guy: " You are near in their mouth, but far from their heart..." ( Jeremiah 12:2) and I know I don't want to be this guy: " Woe to you hypocrites ! For you clean the outside of the cup... but inside you are full of greed and indulgence..." ( Matthew 23:25) The indulgence thing really caught my attention. When I find myself going through life and denying myself nothing, I don't end up enjoying it. I start to hate it and resent that lifestyle. I need reticence. I need the ability to hold off and not have everything I want immediately. I want to hunger and thirst for righteousness but too often I am stuffed with worldliness which takes off the edge of my hunger for God. Tonight I spent some time walking and being with the Lord. It was good to be thankful and it was good to be in a place with God that didn't involved trying to impress Him or others. Does the pace of your life allow for an hour of prayer ? Why not ? I don't mean to belittle you or run you down with guilt ( we all have enough of that right ?) Why do we justify 1-3 hours on the internet and then complain that we didn't have time for prayer ? This is exactly the kind of want to/ ought to issues I mentioned at the beginning. I still believe that we only obey our highest desire. What is your highest desire ?
